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Long Term Relationship Dating App

5/30/2022
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You get what you pay for with online dating.

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Players, tire kickers and married men generally don’t want to pay out cash to partake in lascivious affairs and insincere tomfoolery.

Which

Reviews.com posted an enlightening article “The Best Online Dating Sites,” presenting sites that were most likely to get you a compatible match. They say evaluating online dating sites is a “subjective process” as different people have different desires, needs, and goals for their romantic lives. Nevertheless, according to their firsthand research of 68 contenders, some online dating sites do a better job at promoting committed relationships and marriage.

Reviews.com recommends 4 sites as the top picks—and here’s a summary of why:

Read Also 7 Dating Profile Mistakes That Turn Men Off

Okcupid: Best Overall

No matter what you’re looking for—casual hookups, marriage, polyamory, relationships with men, relationships with women, a little bit of everything—OkCupid can accommodate. Two factors really set OkCupid apart from the competition: It produces the best profiles, and it uses the best matching algorithm that pops the most promising profiles to the top that are more likely to be robust, human, and charming.

OkCupid is free but you can upgrade to a paid “A-List” plan.

Tip: Making frequent, minor updates to your profile can move you to the top of some sites’ search engines, prompting more winks and emails from online men.

Match.com: Best for long-term relationships

Match.com has a reputation as a better place to search for long-term relationships than the more hookup-friendly OkCupid, and science backs that reputation up: According to one study, Match.com and eHarmony produce the most marriages of any dating sites or apps. It’s free to build a profile, but you have to pay to use the site effectively.

In my opinion, Match.com offers more opportunities to meet your ideal romantic partner by allowing you to freely search their online database and they offer face-to-face events.

eHarmony: Most Underwhelming

As a dating site, eHarmony has a reputation for being old-fashioned and marriage-oriented, and it likes it that way. “Do you want fast or forever?” one of its TV commercials asks. Like we mentioned, eHarmony and Match.com, are neck and neck for the most marriages, with eHarmony eking out the top spot by 0.7 percentage point. BTW: eHarmony is the most expensive of sites tested.

I’m not a big fan of eHarmony because it does not allow you to freely search the database of people who would match your criteria, while also limiting your connections to people who the algorithm batches you off every day.

Plenty of Fish: Most Overwhelming

Plenty of Fish offered way more activity than on any other site; however, the interactions were extremely low quality. Many times, we weren’t sure if the messages we were receiving were from a real human or a scammer.

But heck, it’s free.

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As a sociology and media studies student, I’ve found myself increasingly interested in online dating platforms. I wanted to get a sociological perspective, so I decided to interview the professor teaching my virtual communities class, Edwin Lin.

Lin believes that the advent of online dating has fundamentally altered the way people approach romantic relationships by allowing users to easily change the way they present themselves and seamlessly slip out of romantic commitments. More people are using these platforms for casual hookups and conversations, and in the last decade, the audience has expanded beyond professionals to include college students and millennials. With this demographic shift, the culture has shifted from helping users find long-term commitments to facilitating casual and fleeting interactions, “gamifying” dating culture.

According to Lin, the rise of dating apps is a response to broader societal changes in how we work and interact with each other.

Before dating apps, you had to go to a venue such as a bar, restaurant or concert to meet someone you didn’t personally know.

“Initially, the virtual dating space was created for the purpose of young professionals who were too busy and were working all hours of the day and had no time to go to these places and meet new people and make new connections.” Lin said.

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Dating apps were originally marketed toward people looking for long-term relationships, offering a kind of “matchmaking” service. Now, apps are increasingly popular among college students and young people in their 20s: According to eHarmony, the number of people between ages 18-24 who use dating apps has tripled since 2013.

Lin said some people prefer using dating apps over meeting in person. One benefit of meeting someone through a virtual platform is that you can easily set the agenda and be clear about whether you are looking for a serious relationship, a casual hookup or something in between.

This can be particularly advantageous for women, according to Lin, who may want to set the tone and be in control of the circumstances under which the interaction is taking place.

Amid the pandemic, when traditional venues for romantic encounters such as bars and restaurants are not accessible, being able to meet people online has significant value. Dating apps can also be useful for people who are unfamiliar but curious about the dating world and want to try meeting someone in an informal way without making a commitment.

On the other hand, online dating can negatively affect the way people explore romantic relationships. Dating apps give you the ability to instantaneously change your identity, edit and control the space: You can change your profile picture and biography in a few seconds, and you can simply ghost someone if you no longer want to talk to them. This can be problematic. If you view all your relationships through a lens in which they can be easily filtered and edited, you may have a hard time committing to a long-term relationship that requires sustained work and communication.

“Some people have said that this is an explanation for why divorce rates are increasing — because people are less equipped to stay with a person long term,” Lin said. “There is potentially some truth to it. … People will eventually have to delineate that this will be fundamentally different from a face-to-face, long-term, committed relationship.”

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This made sense to me. Dating apps aim to give a user exactly the kind of match they want: You can curate your feed based on the desired height, political affiliation, location or religion of a partner. If users are unable to recognize that dating apps are making the courtship process easier, then they may struggle with long-term relationships down the line.

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“An app can facilitate meeting but can’t facilitate conflicts,” Lin said.

Lin described that despite making meeting people easier than ever, the actual work of sustaining a relationship is no less difficult than it was before.

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“I don’t think any kind of technology out there will ever change the nature, complexity, difficulty and work that is required in any relationship,” Lin said.

While the gamelike nature of dating apps is concerning, it’s also one of the platform’s main allures. Every swipe or like on your profile is a reward, making users stay on the app and aimlessly swipe for hours. Many people are present on the platform to observe, with no intention of talking or connecting. Taking the first step of swiping is easy, but taking the conversation to the next level and meeting in real life requires emotional investment, which can be intimidating.

“The space is not normal even if it feels normal. Once people get tired of the game, they learn that the game is not the same as reality,” Lin said. “People should be aware of the fact that they are playing a game.”

Ultimately, dating apps have their benefits and drawbacks. However you use them, it is important to remember that they are built to draw users in and keep them on their platforms — we’re all just players in a virtual dating game.

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Contact Amrita Bhasin at [email protected].